Sunday, July 31, 2011

Red Spit Gibberish

Today I thought it might be fun to take a little break, and play Gibberish, it is the last day of July so I find this soothing in a weird sort of way. The rules are easy. Minnie starts a story line written in Gibberish and those that want to play continue on the storyline from the last comment posted, in the same style. If you decide to play along there is a certificate at the end as well as membership to my elite group called the Controlled Patriots of Standard Word Abuse. (CPSWA) If you don't understand or have not played this before you can click on the following link to see more about how the game is played.
GIBBERISH a game for silly fun.

Red spit and swallowed the sidewalk looking for another color to bring to the party. Red was angry as usual and had nothing to wear so it...
 (Your Turn)

"Time to rattle those brains of yours. I did my part, lets see what you got!"

Completed story posted soon. How soon, depends on you guys. Have a wonderful day!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Sex and More Sex

Do you remember your first time? Of course you do. Everyone does. The fantasy, the anticipation, the racing heartbeat as you dive into unknown territory. Vivid memories are etched into my mind; images of my hands slightly trembling as I caress each side, the intoxicating smell as I opened that cover and looked inside for the first time. A stolen moment that made me fearful of being caught. I wrapped you in my arms anyways and took you into my room in secret.

Adult Read Blogfest
July 24/25was the "1st Adult Book Read" blogfest hosted by the Heroines with Hearts. All you had to do for this blogfest was share with us the first adult book you ever read and Post your entry to your blog July 24th/25th. Because of the devastating events in Norway I decided to withdraw. My mind and heart was just not in it. Today however, I feel like sharing.

From Nancy Drew to Angelique. At the age of twelve I found a collection of books in my mothers bedroom. I had read all the Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden detective books, and was ready to go from detective to criminal as I snatched one of these books and fled to my room. Who did I take with me for my first?

The adventures and sexual misadventures of a poor young beauty of France. A series of books written by
Anne Golon.

Angelique is forced to return from the convent to be married to a man she has never met, Comte Joffrey de Peyrac de Morens, Lord of Toulouse. He is a man with a fearsome reputation. He is scarred and lame, but richer than the king (allegedly) and reputed to be a wizard. Angelique is determined that she will not give herself to Joffrey and he is patient. What she did not know about her new husband is that he is devoted to the art of love, and has the voice of an angel. He is also devoted to his young wife and once he manages to convince Angelique of his love, the couple have a period of happiness. But this is the middle ages and with lots of intrigue and jealousy between the Church and the Royal Court, a man who apparently has the skills of witchcraft that enable him to cause many women to fall in love with him despite his physical infirmities as well as to be able to magically conjure gold out of rocks where there is no gold present is always going to be in danger. And so the adventures of Angelique kept me company as my own adventures into womanhood began.

If you want to share your first time, I would love to hear about it.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

You Are The Voice

The human spirit never stops amazing me.

Are you proud of the country you live in? I miss the United States and a part of me will always call it home, but today I am proud to say that I am a Norwegian and Norway is my home.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Gearing Up to Get An Agent Blogfest- Final week

Blogfest first 200 words contest

This month I've been taking part in Deana Barnhart's Gearin' Up to Get an Agent blogfest. Week Four ends this fest  as participants post the first 200 words of their manuscript and invite feedback before submitting it.

Agent Kathleen Rushall of Marsal Lyon Literary Agency and YA author Monica Bustamante Wagner will be this week's judges.

So my friends, you may have read this before but I hope you'll take a moment to leave a comment, because I really do value your feedback. I did run over 200 words just a bit, but the thought had to be finished. Total words 223.

Working title: The Troll Inside

Sometimes you are standing there in the middle of a fairy tale and you don’t even know it. What’s real, what’s true can’t be taught. There is only one way to learn and that is by listening to your heart, and by learning to listen to the hearts around you.

When I was a little girl my father used to sit me on his lap and tell me fairy tales. He never read from a book, but I did not need pictures to make his stories more real. I didn’t know it then, but the world he told me tales about, was part of a world that I belonged to. You see I may look human, but I am part troll and this is my story.

My father had been sick a long time, but just as any child would, I refused to believe that anything could ever happen to him. He reminded me of  “Peter Pan,” a boy he always loved to tell stories about. My father Espen was a boy child, full of mischief and stories of adventures that he loved to share with me. Little did I know that the last time I would see him, he would point me in the direction of his greatest adventure of all, one that he had kept a secret from me my whole life.

So there it is, my first few words into a world of fantasy and adventure. Here is my teaser:

Shortly after her father dies Mathilda, better known as Mattie, finds out about a secret chest, a chest that is buried underneath an Ash tree in her garden. Once she discovers how to find and open this chest, her life is changed forever. Mattie discovers her fathers secrets which cast her into a world full of dangerous creatures, mighty warriors and perils beyond her belief. Her fathers fairy tales were to become not only her legacy, but a guide line to survival and a map to the world she was about to enter... 
 Go ahead, let me have it!

Joy and Sorrow

This week-end has been full of tragedy but life goes on. Even though terrible things happen, somewhere something wonderful is happening at the same time. It is important we remember that joy and sorrow walk the same path. Kahlil Gibran says it well:

---Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."But I say unto you, they are inseparable.Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.--- 

So now it is time to take a deep breath and move on. Saturday the 23, July was a day of some joy for my son and his birth father as they met each-other for the first time.

 The Musician and the Biker, Denver Co.

Nervous, awkward, surreal? Yes, these are words that have been used describing their first meeting. Also; relaxing, humorous and exciting. Mixed emotions thrown together in a stew brought about a rather satisfying result. Two relative strangers that share the same blood and some of the same features also now can use words like Dad and Son. Once again proving that sorrow can turn to joy.

Saturday 23, July 2011 a baby was born. Someone elses son  came into this world on the wings of joy. This little boy I will be able to call my nephew. Saw-mans brother had his first child together with the love of his life. If it is on Facebook then it must be fair game so here is a picture of the little heart-breaker.

Little Baby Boy Nephew

So my friends, wherever you go when you meet sorrow know that joy is somewhere near. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support these past few days. They have meant the world to me and to the rest of this country. I would love to hear some of the joy you have recently encountered so let's share a smile!

Stories from the Travelers Journal

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Norwegian Day of Mourning

Norway is a small and peaceful country. Today the country mourns.

"In the secret of my heart I am in perpetual quarrel with God that He should allow such things to go on. My non-violence seems almost impotent. But the answer comes at the end of the daily quarrel that neither God nor non-violence is impotent. Impotence is in men. I must try on without losing faith even though I may break in the attempt."-----  Mahatma Gandhi

Please join me in a prayer for all the loved ones lost and for the families who mourn them, myself included.

Thank you for all your kind words and wishes. I will be taking a few days off from blogging.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Norwegian Soil

---"I have a message to those who attacked us, a message from the whole of Norway. You won’t destroy us. You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. When tomorrow comes, let’s show the world that the Norwegian democracy still stands strong. The most important thing tonight is to take care of each other."--- Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg 

Oslo after bomb went off

Utøya Island-youth summer camp

Yesterday while many of you were still in bed sleeping I watched a piece of Norway fall down. Today there are many families that sit and wait for news of missing loved ones and others that sit in shock and disbelief. News unfolded slowly and speculations were inevitable. Who could do such a thing and why little Norway?
Norway is a nation better known for its active diplomacy and peacekeeping missions than as a target for extremists. 

Initial reports focused on the possibility of Islamic militants, in particular Ansar al-Jihad al-Alami, or Helpers of the Global Jihad. There was ample reason for concern that terrorists might be responsible. In 2004 and again in 2008, the No. 2 leader of Al Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawahri, who took over after the death of Osama bin Laden, threatened Norway because of its support of the American-led NATO military operation in Afghanistan. Norway has over 500 soldiers and several medevac helicopters in northern Afghanistan. 

Well guess what? While there are still alot of unknown facts at this time, one man posted last Sunday, these words on Twitter: 
“One person with a belief is equal to the force of 100,000 who have only interests.” 

This 32 year old Norwegian political extremist confessed to bombing the government center, killing 7 people, before he headed over to an island summer camp for young members of the governing Labor Party and continued to kill over 80 people. This was the deadliest attack on Norwegian soil since World War 11, and it was a Norwegian man who did it. What kind of a message has he sent out to a confused nation and an astonished world? We are still waiting to hear, but one thing is perfectly clear. A terrorist can be found in anyones back yard and the color of his skin or religion has nothing to do with the weapons he bears.  

Yesterday I watched a piece of Norway fall down, but today I watch as it stands up again stronger then ever. Norway may have lost its innocence, but its heart is still strong.


For more of the story go here

Friday, July 22, 2011


There is absolutely no way today could be less inspiring. Someone up there has decided to clean house, the buckets of dirty water from heavens floor are being emptied in my garden. Now if we could just get a wonderful thunderstorm I could be content and my muse would not be such a pout. It is Friday and although that does not hold much excitement for me, I am sure that many of you out there are really excited about something. I know of two personally, my son the Musician is meeting his father the Biker tomorrow for the first time. Wonder how that is going to turn out don't you? Come back on Monday and maybe I will have something to share.

Yes this is me, 5 years old maybe.
Four months ago I started this blog as a form of self therapy. I just wanted someplace to rant and rave and I thought that maybe I would get lucky and find someone else listening. Let me tell you friends this blog has been much better than any doctors couch. Yesterday after I posted my blog about my mother I really felt a weight being lifted. The response each and everyone of you gave me was heartwarming, and I want to thank all of you for that. The friends I am making in this little cyber community are a unexpected bonus. Your encouragement and support mean the world to me. There has been so much going on lately that it takes me awhile to get around to everyone but I am trying as best I can. I do not always post but that does not mean I have not been knocking on your door. Today I am celebrating 4 months blogging, 369 members, and 27880 Views from 120 different countries. Once again I am sharing with you my very first post which should explain my sometimes crazy behavior.

Excuse me for being such a criminal. I must confess that sometimes I have done some pretty terrible things. I have tried to get out of paying for a TV license because I just don’t like being told what to watch on TV, seems to me commercial TV works just fine Mr. NRK. Well, I don’t do that anymore, I hardly watch TV but I pay the license anyways because that is just the way things are.

There was a time when I used to steal as well. I stole bags to put my groceries in. I confess, I was one of those customers. Just didn’t seem right to pay for carrying home merchandise and paying for the stores advertising at the same time. Food is expensive enough. Well I don’t do that anymore either. I have reformed and do my best now to recycle, avoiding plastic whenever I can. This is not an easy task because it seems to be everywhere. I guess that is just the way things are.

Thank God the stores are doing such a good job at keeping us honest. There was not always a time when I put the grocery cart back in its proper space, and there used to be a time when I parked without picking up one of those little tickets that allow us to use their store for an allotted time (which seems to be getting shorter). Lucky thing there are parking police out there keeping us honest as well. 5 minutes in the store could cost you 500 kroner and God help you if you cannot manage to squeeze your car into one of those little spaces, you get napped for that one too. As I have been told, that’s just the way things are.

As it so happens that being the criminal I am, I also use tobacco. Now I know it is not good for me and I really do want to quit. After all not only is it not good for me but it is getting so difficult to buy. We need tickets for that now as well. Now if a criminal like me where trying to quit I could buy patches or gum without a ticket. You can just ask for that at the counter. Why these so called little helpers to us “Criminal addicts” are so expensive is a question that I would really like answered. Heroin addicts seem to get better and cheaper help. Well I guess that’s just the way things are.

Being the hardcore criminal that I am, I once tried to commit fraud. Remember the time when 10 øre was still alive? I once went to the store and tested this mythical mint. If an item in the store cost 70 øre I wanted to see if I could buy it for that price. I put the item on the counter and tried to give the cashier 70 øre. She said “No sorry, 1 kroner please.” You got me; I tried to pay for something with money that did not exist even though that is the price they wanted for it. Once again I just have to say it; I guess that’s just the way things are.

Lucky for me that the rules keep changing, the taxes keep going up and the work force is becoming nothing more than a temporary employment agency. There is still something to be said for being a criminal like me in the world we live in today. So maybe I shouldn’t say excuse me at all and maybe I should not listen anymore when someone tries to tell me “That’s just the way things are.”

Any of you out there criminals? Fess up and share your crimes, I won't tell anyone! Have a nice week-end everyone and try to stay out of jail!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Super Hero Royalty in the House

Today is a day that it hard to forget and lucky thing for me, because if I had forgotten it I would be in big trouble. It is easy at times to take certain people for granted. For instance, even though I do not hold much regard for a socialistic democracy I do recognize that the royal family has a job to do. I take them for granted and expect them to do their job. I find that easy to do. I mention the royal family because today is the crown prince of Norways birthday. He is turning 38 years old today and shares this day with a very special person in my life, who I must admit is taken for granted by most of his family. My husband the "Saw-man" and king of this family, although I would never say that to his face, is turning 28 years old today. Well, lets just say that he would like to think he was turning 28 today.

 The Saw-man hard at work building us our dream house (again)

The fact is that I am very lucky to have this wonderful man in my life. It takes a special kind of person to stay married to me for over 20 years. Let's face it, not every man would have welcomed two additional children from my previous relationships that seemingly popped out of no where. He is loving, patient and kind but what I love the most about him is his sense of humor. Not a day goes by that he does not make me laugh. He knows who he is and it is that strength that keeps me grounded.

Together we have raised two children, run a company, built and remodeled 5 houses, faced illness and death and taken care of my mother. Not many men could live and take care of their mother in-law, and my mother especially!

 Ok so he brags a little, no one is perfect
There is no one that I feel safer with. He has been a fireman, a body guard, and although he does not look it he is tough when he needs to be and strong as an ox. He runs his own business now as a fire consultant, still saving lives, he is and always has been my very own super hero. 

There is royalty in my house today so I think I should bake a cake.

Strawberry cheese cake is his favorite

Hope all of you women out there are as lucky as me. Tell me about your super hero.


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Stop Thief or I'll Pick You Up!

So what do you do when you see a thief breaking into your store? Why you chase him down with your tractor and leave him hanging in the air!

This video is in Norwegian but you should get the idea, no words really needed *NOTE: There are a few seconds of commercial before the video starts, and don't forget to come back here after you watch it.

Harald is a small business owner in Alta, Norway. Our family owns a small house nearby his store and know Harald quite well. When he saw that his store was being broken into, instead of waiting for the police to come he took matters in his own hands. Jumping into his tractor he caught the thief just as he was about to make his get away. Forklift ready and aimed, he scooped up the villain like a toy and held him in place until the police arrived. Now that's what I call a slow speed but effective game of chicken!

Have fun today everyone, and keep on the look out for those crazy stories. Have any of your friends done something crazy lately?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Let the Party Begin

Last week-end in Denver for the Traveler. Some sad good-byes are bound to be said at the airport as she heads back to Minnesota today, before coming home to Norway again. The good news is that they have started a bond that will last the rest of their lives.

Brother and Sister at the Renaissance Festival

King and Queen for a day

Renaissance Fair is incomplete without some big drumsticks

 Time for some music!

To round things off, a heavy medal festival in 100 degrees Fahrenheit

Let the party begin!

This will be my last post on the Traveler for awhile. I hope you have enjoyed sharing her journey as she has met her sister and brother for the first time. 

Have a wonderful day everyone and I will see you again soon.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

High Altitudes

The Traveler and the Musician have been busy getting to know each other and having fun while doing in. They have only a couple of days left before the Traveler heads back to her sister in Minnesota, and then returns home to Norway. Take a peak at how similar these two look. Facebook has a hard time tagging either one of them because it can not decide which one it is tagging! Here are some pictures:

Red Rock, Colorado

 Courthouse, Central City "The richest square mile on earth"

Little air but lots of love

Have a fantastic week-end everyone! Hopefully with plenty of air and lots of love.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter Virgin

Everyone is talking about Harry Potter. I must confess I am a Potter virgin; my Harry Potter “cherry” is still in place. This confuses me greatly and I am starting to wonder what is wrong with me. I love to read, I love children’s books, I am fascinated by anything magical and I am a big movie fan. It was Harry Potter who pulled my young children out of comic books and actually got them to read. Everything about him and the world that J.K. Rowling has created appeal to me. To be totally honest, I have indulged in a little foreplay. A couple chapters have been read aloud to my children at bedside, and part of a re-run from one of his first movies has been lightly viewed and skipped over. I even helped my daughter hang an autographed copy of his picture on her wall next to his movie poster. My family sent Harry Potter collectibles as birthday and Christmas gifts to my eager children, and I have even stood in line to get them the newest book. So why have I not been left panting for more?

“What’s that you say?”-----No, I am not a virgin, Tolkien was my first and I enjoyed every minute!

“Afraid, who me?”----- Absolutely not! I love adventure and the thrill of something new.

“Why wouldn’t I?”-----I adore heroes and age has nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, I happen to like younger men.

“Do you think so?”----Well yes, I am afraid of getting in bed and starting a long term relationship that I know is not going to end well. However, this has never stopped me before.

Am I alone? Am I just crazy? Whatever is the matter with me, there must be a cure. What if I am the only sane one left and the rest of the world has been infected with Harry Potter bliss? Oh My GOD! What if I have the only vaccine to a zombie world infected by the hypnotic words of J.K. Rowling?  

So what do you say people? I don’t want to be alone. Should I just I hold back my head, expose my jugular and let myself be ravaged? Will it hurt, will I die? What made you do it? No one wants to stay a virgin forever, or do they?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

While we wait

The Actor waits patiently for the show to begin. He stands on the sidelines for now, just like I do.  The Traveler has gone to the states to meet her brother and sister for the first time. This is the story of 4 children, 3 different fathers, and my nontraditional family. Not many people get a second chance to start a family over again so this time I hope I get it right. 

So while I am waiting to hear more about the Traveler in Denver, I thought I would share something with you about one of the other spectators in this story. My son the Actor is very involved in the theater. Not only does he act, but he is a talented sound and light technician.

 The Traveler and The Actor together just a few days before her journey begins.

When I first told my son, (the Actor) that my child who I had given up for adoption had contacted me he said. " God Mom! I was just getting used to having another sister, and now I have to get used to a older brother as well?"

It did take some time for him to get used to, but once the two of them started talking they quickly developed a friendship. It would have surprised me otherwise because these two are so alike! They share the same passion for music, movies and computers. It still amazes me how similar all my children are. Only two of them grew up together, yet put them all together you have a complete puzzle. One day I hope to see all my children together in the same room. For now, I just wait. The Actor and I stand together backstage waiting to hear, " Enter, stage right....Action!"

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Gearing Up to Get An Agent Blogfest Week Two: Story Chain

For the Gearin' Up to Get an Agent blogfest, week two is all about creation and the story chain.  To follow the entire story, go to Deanas blog. She will be posting the finished story later.
The story was supposed to be left off at “It had to happen”. Unfortunately the story chain was broken before me so this is the best I could do with about 5 minutes.

To read the story before me check out "Its always about the journey"

 My assignment is to make the reader sad and the words I have to use are: pixie, spike, larva

A giant spike had fastened what used to be Rodderns leg on a tree off the side of the road. Roddern lay helplessly on the ground and his face was a sad mixture of pain and despair.
“I cannot help you any longer my little Pixie friend” reaching into his pocket he pulled out a torn piece of paper. “Run Dio, the map on this paper will take you to the cave of the Larva. Only he can help you now.” She gently took the paper from his hand and stroked his tear stained face.  He looked at her and in a strangled voice said,
“I will find you again Dio, I promise!”

To continue reading the story, please go to Amy Kennedys Blog 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Important information for you (this is NOT a solicitation)

This is how the Musician and I started our latest journey together:

Important information for you (this is NOT a solicitation)
May 10, 2011
Hello Siv Ottem;
I hope you do not mind this email but I located your email addresses via Facebook. I work at Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota and am trying to reach you with some important confidential information. The information dates back to 1976. Would it be possible for you to email me back so that I know that you are in receipt of this email.
Due to the confidentiality I am hesitant to write very much here, but, let me know you received this and we can go from there. My phone number in Minneapolis at LSS is xxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you so much and I hope that we can be in touch soon!

PS I believe I have reached the right person but would just need to confirm some information, before presenting the confidential information that I have. Thank you very much!

The Musician traveled to Minnesota last Friday to meet his sisters for the first time. Minnesota was a familiar place since he had grown up there, but having sisters was unknown territory. Growing up without siblings he had always wondered what it would be like. “What would they look like, would they look like me--Would they like the same things I do?” These and about 100 other questions had been running through his head for years. Through Skype they have been getting to know each other, the questions answered, now they were about to come face to face. On the plane from Denver to Minnesota his anticipation and nerves were made easier by the steady hand of his girlfriend. What had taken his lifetime to learn was standing in front of him, but not for long. He learned in less than a second where he belonged, and that was in his sisters arms.

Outside the Mpls. Airport-The Artist, The Musician and The Traveler

Uncle to these two elves at Como Zoo

The Artist with her family, The Traveler and Musician with their family too.

So whats next? After a long week-end with lots of exploring, reunions with friends, shopping at the Mall of America and grilling it is time to head home to Denver. This time the Musicians carry-on is a bit heavier. His sister, the Traveler is going  home with him. The journey continues.

"Hi Mom, is it weird seeing me on Skype over here?"

What about me? Well I booked my ticket to the States for October 8th. We all celebrate our birthdays that month and it should be one fantastic Birthday marathon.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Can Openers

While I sit around and dwell on things I often question the use of language. Today I feel for talking to you about:
“Potty language." No not swearing, that is "Potty mouth."
Note: This article is best digested by frequent users of American slang.

For centuries man has sought new and exciting was of politely excusing himself from social encounters to visit the “Restroom” for the general purpose of relieving himself. What began as “Excuse me, I have to take a trip outside” has since transformed into heightened urinary rhetoric that might cause Freud to blush. Let us focus on some of the rather ridiculous ways we talk to other users about going to the bathroom.

The small minority of space cadets that are “taking a whiz” these days have obviously been drugged. What exactly is a whiz? Any word that starts with a w and ends with a z can’t possibly be good for the health. Probably 70% of all people that are taking a leak in times of relief are blue collar workers, plumbers predominantly. After all, once you take a leak, it has to be fixed right away. What do I know about taking a leak; I can’t even change my oil.

At times I cannot help but wonder why the name John was chosen for a white porcelain receptacle. Obviously any name with more than two syllables would be eliminated for reasons of speed. What is wrong with something that has a little more flair, like Ted for instance? Picture this: You are lounging about on the deck of the local floating bar, life preservers included. The waiter brings you a Tom Collins and he suavely replaces your ashtray as you pay with Carte Blanche, the French credit card. Scott, Zelda and Daisy mention something about a steak and a Lowenbrau special being served in the underwater dining club. Daisy belches loudly and giggles sweetly. Scott makes a rather vague reference to God and you all blush. By this time your face is turning turquoise and your bladder has filed for divorce. So, very politely, you excuse yourself and announce, “I must conference with Ted.” Now that’s class.  

Piss, I bet Mr. Webster doesn’t know the first thing about piss. When exactly did urine graduate to piss? This word is very upsetting. People just don’t piss. Snakes piss. And for those that do, they are the pissers that don’t even bother to open the lid on the toilet seat. They just piss all over the porcelain. Despite these rather negative characteristics, pissing seems to be catching on. Now people are getting “Pissed off” and there is even a song called “Pissing in the wind”. I can see where the term “piss poor” got its start as a descriptive phrase, but riddle me this, when you take a piss, where exactly do you take it?

There are those few upper class elite women who after a seven course French meal announce to their date for the evening that “natures calling.” Who’s calling? SO take a message and call back. I am not even sure if these women know when nature is calling to them much less what it is saying. Plus I understand that nature always calls collect.

It was only a matter of time before we start designating numbers for the various body functions. For the sake of taste and judgment let’s discuss the number one. A final definition of this phrase should be “liquid ecstasy.” Despite this apparent effort to doll up an otherwise boring label, I still find doing a number one tedious and boring. Let’s leave the numbers to the accountants of the world who really get off on that sort of thing anyways.

How did we find the names “Rest room”, “Water closet”,” Bathroom”, “The Lue” and the “Powder room”? What does any of this have to do with a toilet? Rest rooms sound like a room with a bed in it. I feel sorry for anyone who finds it necessary to sleep on a toilet. When someone tells you that they have to go to the bathroom, don’t you expect them to return all wet?

It was Thomas Crapper who invented the flushing toilet. Thank you, Thomas! It would have seemed fitting that we could have found a less insulting tribute to the man and his name. For instance we could have named the toilet after him. The name toilet is strange and should be replaced anyways. Crapper seems more fitting but lacks class. Thomas like the term John tends to be on the confusing side. Let’s face it, Ted does not work either. After much considered thought the perfect solution is obvious. There is only one fitting name and that is “T.C.” It is short, simple and sweet. Think of all the possibilities. T.C. could stand for personally anything you would like, for instance; Thomas Crapper, toilet crapper, toilet closet and my personal favorite, tender care.

So now that we have put an end to this entire dribble concerning potty language, I for one can rest in peace. Whenever I “Go,” I will make sure to visit the “Tender Care Unit” with some respect and I suggest you do the same. Let the space cadets whiz, the plumbers leak, the Johns use the John, the snakes piss, the snobs call nature, the accountants go in numbers, and the lazy people use the restroom. The rest of us can smile when we announce to lesser educated people that we have to use the “T.C.”

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Heart that Travels

Having a child is the same as forever having your heart go walking around outside your body. No matter where they go your heart will always follow. Here is a record of the path my heart has taken this past week as my children meet each other for the first time.

 The Traveler and Artist on St.Croix River

 The Traveler meets sushi for the first time

The Traveler with the Artist and her family, 4th of July 

On a road-trip the Traveler and Artist  find a part of Norway in North Dakota

 The Traveler, Musician and Artist finally meet.

Every day we set our children free
we watch them soar
we watch them fall
they sing a song or skin a knee.

With every breath they take we breath 
they fall in love
and so do we
simply put, they are you, they are me.

---Siv Maria

Friday, July 8, 2011

When you Least Expect it!

 The Biker-1976
Just when you least expect it someone enters your life and changes everything. How amazing that life gives us these wonderful gifts. In just one year I have regained a daughter and son, and as if that was not enough, my life has been enriched by a wonderful man I met in this blogging community who has become like a brother to me. There are all kinds of families today, the standard mom and dad has been replaced by the non-traditional ones. You know the ones I am talking about. My surprise was that when my son contacted me I decided to see if I could locate his father. After 35 years, Facebook did it again with just one simple search. There he was, a little older but the same face. There were many questions going through my mind. Should I tell him that the son he had given away for adoption had contacted me looking for his family? Would he want to know? My son (the Musician) only asked for a picture of him, would he want to know more? Tapping my fingers first on my desk, I moved them to the keyboard and started writing to my ex, who I will call the “Biker” from now on.

The memories came flooding back to me, the memories of first love. The joys and the pain that went along with it and the betrayal I eventually felt. He left and joined the military just a few months before our son was born. He was nothing but a confused kid himself and certainly not able to start a family. So here 35 years later, just a ghost from the past, I wrote him. Not exposing any names, this is how the conversation went:

 ME:   Hi Biker, I am not sure if you are the Biker I am looking for but If you knew a Siv xxx which is my maiden name, back around 1976 I hope you will contact me. Have you ever heard of Lutheran Social Services? There is a young man that contacted me which you may or may not be interested in. No strings, no pressure. Let me know.

 BIKER:  Hi Siv! Yes I'm the Biker from 35 years ago. How wonderful to hear from you!
Yes I remember Lutheran Social Services. They handled the adoption of our son XXX. I am interested, have been for many years.

ME: They contacted me yesterday and he is reaching out. Are you interested? He lives in XXX and I have his name if you want. I have not told him your name but he asked if I had a picture of you and if you were on Facebook. I thought it would be best to contact you before I gave him any information. He is happy and does not want anything except to know where he came from. I think both his adoptive parents are dead now and he has no brothers or sisters. He seems like a really sweet kid. Let me know if I should tell him who you are. This is all new for me too.

BIKER: Yes...Facebook is amazing. Yes I am interested and would like to know more.

So that was the beginning. Since then we have all gotten to know each other through Skype. The Biker and I are becoming good friends; we put the past behind us and look forward to the future. Another piece of the puzzle that makes up my unusual and very lucky heart is in place. They will meet for the first time in August, but today is a very special day for the Musician, the Artist and the Traveler. They will meet tonight for the first time, and while I am sitting on the sidelines for now, I share in their excitement. More stories on this adventure will come later.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Gearing Up

It is time for another blog fest and this one seems to be made for me. It is The Gearing up to get an agent blogfest. For more details check out  Deana Barnharts blog

Week 1 as explained on Deanas Blog:

I Just had to ask...

What burning questions (about writing of course) do you have?  It doesn't matter how ridiculous you think it may be, just ask.  Post the question on your blog and we will hop around the blogs trying to help each other out.  Discussions about topics on writing can really pump you up for your novel, plus you can make connections, follow one another, and brainstorm platform building ideas...whatever.   

This will be our time to ease into the blogfest and get to know one another.

So this is my question for week number one.
How have you conquered the “I” while writing in the first person? Keeping the word “I” to a minimum has proven to be very challenging, so my blogging friends, any words of advice?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Other Part of Me

Me at 17, two months pregnant but not knowing it.

While I am waiting for more news from the traveler, I thought I would tell you a story about the other part of me.

There has been something missing from my life. I have tried to fill this empty hole with something else or someone else over and over again. The pain of loss never goes away no matter how hard you try to replace or ignore it. It is true that the heart can be broken and the soul can be ripped in two and torn. There is no peace of mind only temporary stillness. When I left my newborn son in the arms of a stranger I could only hope that the choices others made for me were the right ones. His tiny fingers curled around mine for one last time and holding my breath, I tried to hold back the tears and failed. I learned then that common sense can be cruel. I tried not to look back as I left the hospital but I realize now that I have never stopped.
The Musician, 2 days old.

Years went by and time healed many scars. Yet, every now and then a small blond haired boy, a certain song, or a faint smell of something familiar would open that scar causing me to bleed again. That is when I would climb into that empty hole and realize just how alone I was. Lucky for me there has always been someone there to help pull me out again.

Fate had been kind to me. I had 3 beautiful and healthy children as well as a loving husband.  The little blond haired boy had become a man. The song was all but forgotten, yet there was still a faint smell of something familiar that hung in the air. I tried not to dwell on this. I stopped myself whenever I started to wonder where he was, what he was doing and if he was happy. As it turns out I no longer have to ask myself these questions. Fate has been kind to me again.

On the other side of the world there was a young man who also felt a missing part of his life. His search for me began years ago while his parents were still alive. He never gave up hope, and he never stopped trying. Armed with just the name of an Adoption Agency and a helpful social worker his search was made easier by the wonderful world of Facebook.  The social worker found me, contacted me and put the two of us in touch with each other. 

Thirty- four years have passed, and it has been almost two months since he found me. The bond between us grows stronger. No one has ever made me fall in love so fast. Not for one instant has there been a stranger looking at me through the camera lens of Skype. How could there be? All I ever see in his face or hear in his voice is the missing piece of my heart. Yes, we still have a lot to learn about each other, but what a wonderful discovery each day brings. My son, who I will call the Musician (yes he is quite a talented one) will be traveling to Minnesota this Friday to meet his sisters for the first time. He has never had a sister or brother before so you can imagine his excitement as he comes face to face with another part of himself that has been missing.

This journal is about so much more than one daughter and her trip to the states. The Traveler, the Artist, the Musician, the Actor and myself; we are all traveling on a journey towards becoming a family at last. There are many who take this journey with us and many still to come.

Monday, July 4, 2011


The Traveler found this nest outside her sisters door. This picture reminds me of how dependent we are on one another, even on such a day as today. It is the 4th of July and Independence day. A day for celebrations in the USA. It is also a good day to celebrate birth. Since I am an American living in another country I think about this day as Americas Birthday but I do not celebrate it with picnics or fireworks. I am simply reminded of creation itself and the wonderful exploration of life that we are all entitled to. So for all of you around the world, Happy Creation Day! Explore it wisely.

The travelers first encounter with Golfing. She was the designated golf cart driver.

On Skype together for the first time. I do love Skype!

The Traveler has been busy trying out (and on) many firsts! Golfing, Cabin Cruising on the St.Croix River, Sushi (she says, YUK!) and Victoria Secret (she says YUM). Today will be her first 4th of July celebration. Let's hope she has fun.

This is a journal recording my Daughters (the Traveler) journey to the states to meet her Sister (the Artist) in Minnesota and her Brother (the Musician) in Denver for the first time.