Monday, August 29, 2011

New Moon

 Time for some gibberish people, let's start the week with some fun. Today there actually is a New Moon so I thought it fitting to use the moons invisible face for today's game.

The rules are easy. Minnie starts a story line written in Gibberish and those that want to play continue on the storyline from the last comment posted, in the same style. If you decide to play along there is a certificate at the end as well as membership to my elite group called the Controlled Patriots of Standard Word Abuse. (CPSWA) If you don't understand or have not played this before you can click on the following link to see more about how the game is played. GIBBERISH a game for silly fun.

New moon lost her last sliver as she does every month but this month was different. The air had changed into something that space did not understand. Star raced across the sky and stole...
 (Your Turn)

"Time to rattle those brains of yours. I did my part, lets see what you got!"

Completed story posted soon. How soon, depends on you guys. Have a wonderful day!

Friday, August 26, 2011

One Good Teacher

Every year before the first day of school we would go shopping for new clothes and school supplies. While my brother and sisters rummaged through the department stores looking at clothes I would always sneak away and head straight for the school supplies. I have always loved the smell of lead on pencils, erasers, and paper. 

 School has already started for some and for some school is about to start soon. When I was very young I loved school, I got good grades and I even remember some of my teachers names. This all changed when I started Junior high school and my parents decided to build a house in the country. We moved away and this city mouse did not fit in well with the country mice.  After a year of being beaten up and bullied I got tough and one day I decided to ignore my mothers advice and I beat up the biggest bully of all. Needless to say, I got suspended from school and my new attitude created quite a stir in this little community. Skinny little blond girl stopped playing with “Barbies” and listening to the “Monkey’s.” I traded them out with knives and “Grand Funk Railroad.” I hung out with the BAD crowd and even helped organize a school lock-out because of teachers like this:

We all cope with puberty and school in different ways. Fortunately for me I discovered a new teacher during one of many stays in detention who lead me to gymnastics, which led to horseback riding, which led to choir and school musicals. So you see there may be times when your children do not think they need an education. Times when they struggle to find themselves and times when you just want to give up. All children really need is a cause, something to make them not want to give up learning. It happened to this “Rebel without a Cause” and all it took was one good teacher who took the time to see something more in me. 

Have any of you ever had a teacher like that?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Digesting Family

There are 1,019 miles between Denver and Seattle. Those miles were crossed within seconds, as I sat and watched thousands of miles away in a little town in Norway. My son met one of his aunts and his cousins for the first time, all of this courtesy of Skype Conference Calls. The call was a bit unstable but the smiles were easy to see.

Old picture of me and my sister with her husband before they got married.

If you have been following my blog then you know how my son who I gave up for adoption found me not long ago. Since then he has been discovering a whole new family from both my side and his father’s side. He went from being an only child whose adoptive parents and grandparents died, to a person with a large family. It is hard to imagine isn’t it?

Before he can fully digest one family member another one is tossed onto his plate. I don’t think he was totally prepared for such a large amount, but he is handling it with a viking appetite. It can’t be easy to have your whole world turned upside down or have a mother who keeps putting more food on the plate while saying, “Eat it up.” I guess that I am lucky he has a big appetite, but I also know when it is time to let the stew simmer for a while.

So far he has met in person two sisters, two nephews and a father. In little over a month he will be meeting me at the airport. In addition to that he has been on Skype with one brother, one step dad, one aunt and her husband, and 2 cousins. There are many more to meet and I hope with all my heart that he digests us well.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Holes are Everywhere

Holes are everywhere, have you ever stopped to notice? Usually I just go by another hole and do not give it a second thought. There are the holes in the road, the holes in the garden, holes in the house, holes in the furniture, holes in your clothes, holes in bags, holes in your wallet, holes in your teeth, holes in your writing, and the big one which is holes in your HEAD! There are a whole lot of holes out there and some of them are even people, you know the ones, the “Ass holes” that you run into everywhere.

Maybe I believe in a strange time where people say please and thank you, they have respect for elders, lend a helping hand to those in need, hold the door for the person behind, and say excuse me when it's needed. Today I ran into a lot of holes. They seem to coming out in especially large numbers today. Is it just me, or is there anyone else that has noticed this?

Coasting my way to the grocery store on an empty tank of gas, I ran over a hole in the road, then an A-hole stole my parking space. Another A-hole cut in line before me saying, “You don’t mind, I only have a couple of items.” Then she pranced in front of me not waiting for an answer. I did let that slide because I was born in that strange time which I mentioned above. The hole in my wallet spilled small coins on the floor as I was reminded by the cashier that I had to pay for the grocery bag.  Shaking my head, I said to myself “Ok, let it slide” and so I did once again. It was a long walk back to the car and much to my dismay; one of the bags did not make it. Another hole decided to rip through my day and spill my groceries all over the parking lot floor. I watched some cans roll slowly under another car and I felt my blood pressure start to pound and spread up into that hole in my head. Trying to recover my goods, the so called owner of this vehicle said to me in a rather unpleasant voice, “Do you think you can hurry it along Lady so I can move my car?” That is when the holes had finally gotten to me. I picked up the can of soup, crawled out from under his car and shoved the dented can in his impatient little paws. “For your time,” I said as he looked at me like I was insane. Then I emptied the rest of the groceries in the back seat of my car, took my “paid for” bag with hole, and marched back up into that store. Cutting straight in front of the line I threw the bag at the check- out girl and said, “When I pay for something, I expect it to work so I want my money back!” The slightly frightened girl gave me my 2 kroner back, which I stuck into my holy wallet, and then I thanked her politely. With a smile on my face I strolled out of the store watching as the heads turned to look at the crazy lady. Sometimes there are just too many holes in a day.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Diet and a Dare

Ms. Smarty pants and Giggles herself, wants to know what is in my diet. She thinks I am confusing, and for the life of me I have no idea why she should think such a thing. I just write away about the things that effect my life. There is one thing you never want to say to me and that is, “I dare you.” Those three words are like junk to me. I cannot resist them! Ha ha, I have my eye on a few others with the same brain dysfunction. So lately I have been writing about lost family, terror and death in Norway, red spit, the scary things children put you through, friends and inspiration, and finally the confusing world we are living in. 

Ms. Giggles wants to know what is in my diet; or rather she dared me to tell her. Now I can take this literally and tell you what I eat but I know that would be only half a story and not so interesting at that. So here is my daily diet as I see it.

Every morning I cough my way through saw dust, wood planks and piles of clothes and debris towards the coffee pot. I am after all living in the “Never-ending story” of home renovation. My coffee and I sit on the steps with a newspaper and skim through the day, at the same time we are NOT listening to my mother in the background telling us all the latest Hollywood gossip. So it is time for yogurt, muesli, juice and vitamins. Then coffee and I talk to our mail and check in with our Google friends. Chores come along and remind me that I cannot dawdle so I sometimes obey like a good girl should.  Sometimes I ignore those nasty chores and disappear into the world of words, guilty as charged! Lunch is my walk, I need air and instead of wasting my breath on gobbling down food I take a nice long walk. The museum and the cemetery are nice places to hang out even when it is raining or snowing, as it so often does in this country.

My diet consumes a lot of music during the day. If it is not playing in the background, which tends to irritate other family members, it is in my head constantly. Music has replaced coffee and the two of us dance around the kitchen, making some kind of meal for the evening. Protein and vegetables are the ones that usually keep me company. Sometimes a frozen Pizza or soup will sneak in and steal the show.

Saw-man spends the evening drilling, hammering and making other noises that saw-men do while I wipe off the day with Mr. TV and Mr. Internet. Some fresh night air and I am ready for a trip to the Imagine Nation. If you ask me, my diet is not confusing at all. It does tend to have its variations, but that is life, is it not?

What kind of diet are you on? Have a nice week-end everyone!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

You Geek!

My friend Alex brought up an interesting question the other day. Are yesterday’s Nerds, todays Geek? Well my friends you know me, and here I have to go again and look up the word. Actually I should have done this a long time ago considering both my sons have confessed to being one. One of my sons actually makes his living working as one for the Geek Squad. So what is a Geek?

The word geek is a slang term, with different meanings ranging from "a computer expert or enthusiast" to "a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts."

The definition of geek has changed considerably over time, and there is no longer a definitive meaning. The terms nerd, gimp, dweeb, dork, have similar meanings as geek, but many choose to identify different connotations among these terms, although the differences are disputed. In a 2007 interview on The Colbert Report, Richard Clarke said the difference between nerds and geeks is "geeks get it done." Julie Smith defined a geek as "a bright young man turned inward, poorly socialized, who felt so little kinship with his own planet that he routinely traveled to the ones invented by his favorite authors, who thought of that secret, dreamy place his computer took him to as cyberspace—somewhere exciting, a place more real than his own life, a land he could conquer.

What does all this say and how does it relate to you? As for me, I am a nerd that depends on Geeks to get it done. I have tried to make friends with my computer but it is obvious that it does not like my nerdiness. I on the other hand have no time to mess with its constant virus updates and mood swings! I want to kick install and boot it straight out of my life. This is, however impossible. I find myself stuck here in Geek world and totally dependent. The upside is that there is a little geek in me, for I too find myself more at home in a dreamy place that is more exciting, but instead of using megabytes my world is created by ink and I am the one creating it. You Geeks will probably disagree. Did I miss something? Go ahead and let me know.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

New Nerds

What is a nerd today, and where did the word even come from? It used to be that a nerd was the kid that hung out in the science lab and belonged to the chess club. Nerds were easy to spot because they hung around in little nerd groups, usually with big glasses and hand me down clothes. I have no idea what a nerd looks like today and I started to wonder if maybe I have become a nerd. I had to look up the word:

 Nerd is a term that refers to an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit. Nerds are generally considered to be awkward, shy and/or unattractive by most. Thus, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by others, or will tend to associate with a small group of like-minded people.

The first documented appearance of the word "nerd" is as the name of a creature in Dr. Seuss's book If I Ran the Zoo (1950), in which the narrator Gerald McGrew claims that he would collect "a Nerkle, a Nerd, and a Seersucker too" for his imaginary zoo. 

Well that does it! Dr. Seuss is in the building! I really want to be a nerd now. I will have my own little Nerd group that is for Nerds over 40. We can speak our own language and completely ignore all “Youth Slang” and “Fall Down” fashion.  Lately I have heard terms that make no sense to me. Terms like, muffin top, queef, camel toe, moose knuckle and tea bagging.  Strange words are constantly being thrown at me. Ha? I had to look them all up you know, my kids think I am funny, and my amazement for the construction of the English language continues. Where do these words come from? Fall down fashion is another thing. Make up your mind already! Either put on your pants or take them off! I swear I am going to put a nickel in the next slot I see.

Nerds over 40, it is time to band together. We can be proud of our Dr. Seuss heritage and continue to create words that have an intellectual content. We can wear clothes that suit us, have any kind of hobby we want, and go to the imaginary zoo any time. My first Nerd Word is going to be:

Femping: Jumping away from whatever you are fed up with.

Would you like to share a new Nerd Word with me? I would love to hear it. How about telling me what you are femping about, I am all ears.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

From Bathtub to Flames

Once upon a time there was a little Hart that loved nothing better than to sit in her bathtub and write. Through her pruned little fingers she created a world of her own that she was willing to share with anyone who would dare get naked with her. Eventually her water got cold. Lucky for her there was a fire wizard who cast some flames into her tub and warmed her up enough to send heat among the land of bloggers of which I am one. In order to keep the flame burning I must answer these questions before sending the heat out again into the Blogger realm.

Are you a rutabaga? Ha ha, NO! I am pure meat baby and the thought of sitting on the side of the plate, making others look good never occurred to me.

Who is your current crush? What is a crush, I am too old for crushes. I have recently fallen in love though with my son who I just met after 34 years.

a picture that makes you happy. What else could that be than my current crush? Here he is girls, eat your hearts out but beware he is not single.

When was the last time you ate a vine-ripened tomato?  A couple of days ago, it is all I eat.

Name one habit that causes other people to plot your demise?  This is impossible to answer.  Just one?  You would have to ask the “Other people.”

What is the weirdest, most-disgusting job you've ever had to do? I avoid these kinds of jobs so I would have to say none. The scariest job I ever had to do though was to get people to a rescue station during a fire onboard a cruise boat. We all survived.

Where da muffin top at? Well that all depends on how many muffins you have on a tray. You did mean plural right? Now if you mean singular, I would say on the very last spot of frosting  Take that any way you want.

What author introduced you to your genre? Ha ha, I have no genre! If you think you can put me in a box you are so wrong. I like and am inspired by many authors, from Steven King, to John Irving and Roald Dahl. I also love Charles Dickens so what does that say?

 Describe yourself using obscure Latin words.  “Sicut in caelo et in terra"--- As in heaven so on Earth.” Yes, you got it folks, I am an angel…lol!

The following people are being tagged for the above award and subsequent internet meme because I just love them and the support they have shown me. There are others, but you guys already know who you are. These deserve a special shout out from me:

Thank you for the spirit 

Thank you for the laughs 
Thank you my brother, for always being there 
Thank you for your inspiration 
Thank you for your friendship  
Thank you for your hope 

Have a great day everyone and keep the fire burning!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Free Fall

Do you know what your children are up to? Do you really want to know? When you go through months of caring for this little creature and finally suffer through childbirth bringing them into this world, did you really believe the suffering would be over? Ha ha, if you did you were so wrong. From the moment before they are born you start to worry. The formula or breast milk, the car seat, the baby caller, the child proofing, the daycare, the school, the bicycle, the sports, the friends, and the list goes on. You want to keep your children safe, you try to live in a healthy environment for them, you tell them to stay away from strangers offering candy, and you watch as they fall down wishing you could have been there to stop it. From crawling to walking, from the playground to the streets, you watch, you pray and you just cross your fingers that they will survive.

So you let them go little by little and watch them stumble through the world, bruises cuts and all. They grow up and you have done the best you can but does the worrying stop there? Not likely. So why am I telling you this when you probably already know what I am talking about? Because this is what my son The Actor did this week-end.

You all know he loves drama. This is not his film but it is where he jumped, hopefully I will soon have his film to share with you. So I ask you again, do you know what your children are doing? What is the thing they have done to make you the most crazy with worry?

Friday, August 12, 2011

Dirty Feet and Hairspray

Dirty feet and hairspray.
That’s right, if someone were to describe my summer appearance that would be the best description. I run around half naked with dirty feet, no make- up, and hairspray to keep my long bangs out of my eyes.  I hate wearing shoes and since I am living in a house under construction my feet are always dirty. Even after I get out of the shower, my feet are dirty. I really miss soaking in a bathtub. Funny thing is that I have never really been much of a bathtub person. My main objective has always been to just get clean fast and get out of there. Taking the time to just soak in a bathtub has never been a luxury I could afford. In a one bathroom house with kids, I am sure many of you know what I am talking about. Then again, having one bathroom might sound a little strange in todays world as well. The past few years I have been living without a bathtub and now I really find myself missing one.

Now on to the hairspray and its evil influence over my life, you see I really hate the stuff. I do not like any hair products except a huge hair clip or a rubber band. The problem is that I forget to buy a new scissors so I can cut my bangs. I refuse to go to the hairdressers and spend tons of money for them to just cut my bangs. So what do I do? Hairspray works for me, so does a head band, but I look weird without bangs. Eventually the hairspray is going to stop working and I will have to resort to writing the word scissors on my hand so that I remember to buy one.

It’s summer and I got other things to think about then washing clothes, wearing make-up, soaking my feet (or heaven forbid wearing shoes) and buying scissors. So now that you have gotten this totally disgusting image of me and my summer appearance, how about you share with me yours? What do you look like this summer, and what could you not live without?

Have a great week-end everyone! Oh and look out for that full moon.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

For Women Only

My good friend Melissa at Melissas Imaginarium has been featuring a series of movies on bad ass women. There are some great movies coming out with these types of roles that have been traditionally saved for men.  Does that tell you anything girls? In the end movies are about good box office and making money. I figure that since it is the women who drag the men to the movies, the movie industry is very clever indeed. Men will go to watch the hot women and the great action scenes. Women go for another reason, they go to watch women kick mens ass. We are tired of watching men blowing up things and acting like muscle monkeys with a small brain attached. We all know that the man’s biggest brain sits somewhere else then in their heads and we women want more sustenance in our fantasy world.

Last night while I was in bed trying to sleep, listening to the saw-man making his usual wood chopping noises in his sleep, I went to my Imagine-Nation. I told you guys about this place before. I like to go there when I cannot sleep and usually it is the best medicine. Well last night the entertainment was so fantastic that it actually kept me awake. I jumped into Imagine-Nation as a Femme Fatal ready to kick some ass. This is what I looked like:

So Sisters, we are doing it for ourselves and it is about time. Remember "Never forget where you came from," and do not let anyone tell you it was from Adams rib. Next time your hubby or whatever you call him tries to make a big deal out of taking out the trash, fixing a broken fixture or cutting the grass just smile and say thanks honey. Are you tired of picking up after him and cleaning up his mess? Don’t rub it in his face, just stop doing it and later you can go to the Imagine-Nation and kick his ass too.

Oh and by the way if there are any men who snuck in here after being warned not to....Beware of women with their period on a a full moon :)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

House of Cards

There are days like this when you just knew that you should have stayed in bed. Your heart just is not in it anymore. All sounds are like thunder breaking through glass, each minute feels like a hundred and when the silence finally comes you just want to scream. 
Is there one day when you finally feel like “THIS IS ENOUGH?”  Do you feel like something in the universe is just picking on you for no reason? Even worse, “What have I done to disserve this?” Has it ever happened to you that everything is going so wonderful that you think, “Something bad is going to happen now?” Do you have a house of cards that keep tumbling down? How about, every time you get up on your feet, something or someone comes along to knock you down. 

Some of you may know what I am talking about. Probably most of you do. Times in your life that should be so wonderful, a rainbow in the sky, a true Disney film, and then bang out of nowhere Steven King comes along with a horror story to set you on another page. How do you deal? I do not have the answer but I sure would like one.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Other Side of the Rainbow

The Traveler has returned from her American adventures. Did she fall in love with the American way of life? Yes I suppose she did, but unlike Dorothy she didn’t have to click her heals together three times in order to get home. The Traveler met her sister, her brother and two small nephews for the first time in a wonderful place called Oz. She fell in love with the beauty of the place and the people in it, but in the end it was good to come home. Looking for greener grass on the other side, I believe she learned that in truth, “There is no place like home.”

 The Traveler and her best friend, a happy reunion


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Death came knocking

You look, you listen, you try to understand. Death stares at you in the face and it makes no sense. It never makes any sense. Death sweeps over life reminding us how precious our time is and how in one instance everything can change. I have watched and touched death from a distance today. The tragedy in Norway effected so many like myself. A friend of a friend, a friend of a loved one, someone you know or never really got the chance to know. These people are being buried now. Death came knocking on my door, it touched the people I love. It is not the first time, and it will not be the last. Death comes knocking when it will and you have no choice but to open the door, let it in and then close the door again.

Remember your loved ones, cherish them, and never forget that death can come knocking any time. To everyone who has lost a loved one and been touched by death recently, I pray for you.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Red Spit

 Red spit and swallowed the sidewalk looking for another color to bring to the party. Red was angry as usual and had nothing to wear so it...

Travelled down the walkway due to gravity and picked up a cute birch leaf in green that fit her form nicely.

turned to green and stripped the coating off before realizing
On the way to the party she shredded it on a near by tree. It left her naked.

But Red was even angrier and so, began searching for a another color. That's why Red swallowed the sky. 

Swallowing blue turns the horizon into an egret that becomes white and tall. But not tall like the trees, more like a glass of cold beer and a good story. 

Which made Red have to pee so she did dribbling a little on her shoe, turning her a nice sunny yellow. 

Yellow being the colour of insanity, she ran around in a circle, bellowing 

"I'm Yellow! I'm Yellow! How could devilish red turn YELLOW?" Distressed, she tore off the sidewalk and into the nearby park. "A maple leaf did this to me... perhaps a red oak leaf will turn me back? She reached for the lowest leaf and ...

Stuck it to the naked colors just in time to wear to the party.

Here are the wonderful writers of this gibberish and members of C.P.S.W.A. Make sure you stop by their blogs and say hello.

Have a nice day everyone!